Happy Anniversary Utah!

One year ago today the kids and I moved into our cute little townhouse in Utah. It has been a long year in many ways and super fast in others. Thankfully, we wrap up our 1 year anniversary with Erick here with us! :)

Im still in love with you Utah, your mountains, and even your lack of snow is just fine with me...The sunshine makes up for it all!

Mom Jeans

I have a pair of mom jeans. At least, they feel like mom jeans when I wear them. I cant seem to bring myself to get rid of them. Why do I keep them? For things like painting projects, or picking up dog poop? Maybe.

Maybe I feel like I should have them, as a badge of honor. Hey! Im a mom! Lookit my jeans!

I read this blog post about becoming Lame, and its links to motherhood. It made me laugh for what I can relate to, and what I know I will relate to in the future.

I just got excited about a really cool minivan thats for sale, that I wish I could buy! Lame! Mom Jeans! What has happened to the girl who thought she was cool?

I love that I googled mom jeans, and this picture showed up... (alright Jess Simpson...rockin the mom jeans!)

Unfriendly Advice.

I deactivated my account on Facebook. I thought I would have this huge weight off my shoulders. I think its slowly lifting.

Part of me is like, Wait! I have something I NEED to share with the world! Not really, bummer news or blah moods really are best shared with the people I have in my life to lend support and care. I kept finding myself getting angry or hostile toward people.

My advice to you, if you are thinking about changing something in your life that is giving you stress or causing your mind to worry, try to figure out what you can do about it - to ease your burden. Instead of carrying it.

My last blog post and this one sound like downers dont they? Oops! Although, I dont really want to only blog the good stuff, that would be kinda cheating.

Some good things:
- Erick and I had a meeting with Jed's teachers and school peeps, it went well, we have a game plan for him, and I feel like now, the teachers are on the same page with what they are doing for him each day. And I do feel better as well.
- Sunday at church Jed bore his testimony in Sacrament for the first time. It was so sweet. What was interesting to me was that this was the 2nd month where he asked/wanted to do it. He almost got grumpy, and I think he was struggling with how powerfully he felt the Spirit. Im not a huge fan of a bunch of kids running up to the podium to say stuff, but I think there is a certain age where its a good idea to do it and he did very well. Plus then Erick shared his and that was very nice to hear as well.
- We were recently planning on moving out of our little townhouse and renting a larger place, but made the decision now to stay, and Im excited! Its a smaller place, but gives us time to save more money, and we bought ourselves a new bed, and a couch and painting is next on the list. I like the idea of making things feel more like home here.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I browse job postings on the local classifieds.
Sometimes I get frustrated because I want to use my cool design skills at a 'real' job doing 'real' grown up type work.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that right now, Im not supposed to be working at a big time real job.
Sometimes I daydream about that perfect job for me.
Sometimes I dont even know what that job is.
Sometimes I want to apply and interview for jobs.

I feel like my creative/professional purpose is lurking in the shadows and I can't quite find it. Im looking though.

Parenting is hard.

I think parenting is hard. You probably do too.

Lately my focus has been my first born. He receives special services through the school (which you may know if you have read my blog for any length of time, but assuming you dont remember all the important details of my life...) and the last couple weeks I noticed something.

Tons of school work coming home, completed, but lots of it marked wrong! This might not be a big deal to some, but when your kid goes to the 'resource room' for 'special' help everyday, you kinda expect their work to come home in decent shape.

So I have been making a series of phone calls, and battling personal guilt and negative self talk about my skills as a parent...How did I miss this for so long? Why do I not know the names of ALL the many teachers who help Jed with his work each day? And of course, anger toward people who I trust to educate my child. So, this week I have a couple meetings with teachers, and the principal, to straighten it all out. Plus an eye appointment for Mr. Jed to see if his prescription has worsened. We will also add a dr visit to talk about possible medications to help ease Jed through his day.

It truly is always something.

Patriots, Politics, and Parents

I was raised by patriots. True, good ole, hard working patriotic parents. We flew our flag on holidays, my dad served in the Army during war time, and my mom taught me how to file my own taxes when I was 15. 

I am disappointed in the turn America is taking. I recently flew out to Indiana to visit with my dad and while in the airport, while taking off my shoes and standing vulnerably in a full body scanner, all I could think was, "those terrorists are laughing at us." Seriously. 

Is the media really going to crab and complain and pick on Mitt Romney's taxes? Really? 

1. He paid taxes. Thats more than some people living in America do. 

2. He earned a shitload of money...good for him! Uh...considering the debt this country is in, I would much rather have an intelligent business man doing the country's budget and overseeing finances than the guy spending money we Americans DONT have now. Just think if Mitt applies his knowledge of economics to our government's money like he does his own!!?? Shazam! 

3. Celebrities give tons of money to charity to reap the tax benefits all the time! 

4. If you dont think Mitt should have applied various tax laws and loopholes to hang on to his money, then dont claim your Child Tax Credit, or EIC, or itemize your medical expenses. Cause I am pretty sure we all try to hang on to our money too!

The whole point of living the good American life, is to do what you want, exercise freedom and make your own choices based on the opportunities you seek out. I dont know when we got lost and forgot the meaning of hard work, and a day's earned wages. This is not the country of handouts and laziness... or at least it wasnt when I was being raised...

Pespective, a year later.

Last January, I was preparing for a big change in our family. We had decided we wanted to move to Utah. Only, I got really antsy and didnt want to wait for the time frame Erick thought made sense. So by February, I was rushing across the country, with my 3 kids in tow and the dog.

As the anniversary of that decision is here, I find myself reflecting A LOT on that experience. I had intended to use my blog as a place to record and remember...only, life as a working mom without Erick around proved to wear me out so I didnt have a lot of time for blogging. boo. It was a year of amazing growth for me as an individual, and for Erick and I as a couple, and for the 5 of us as a family.

Last year, I blogged:

In this new year, I look forward to shifting my focus from stressful and unhealthy self-doubt, discouragement, and negative thoughts, to working toward a life full of promise, love and confidence in myself.

Last year's blog post on Perspective, here.

Its interesting to read that today. When I think about my experiences over the past year, I can see where I was pushed to get past self-doubt {You have to when you are the sole care-giver for your children, you have to just make decisions, no second guessing!}. There has not been a lot of room for discouragement and negative thoughts, though the trial was there. {Life was lonely everyday without my best friend by my side  - Erick was apart for 6 months - People questioned and criticized our decisions} But we pushed on. Our reunion as a family was full of joy and happiness.

This part of our family journey is not done. We are still working things out and rebuilding a life. But its been wonderful! The challenges seem like such a small price to pay for the reward. A job for Erick that he enjoys and feels confident and important, the kids and me, working on our relationships with each other each day.

When I look back on the trip here: driving 24 hours with the kids in 3 days, at one point in a real blizzard, with zero visibility, its a miracle the kids were content and cooperative! But we endured, and pushed through rough times. I realize that things are so good right now, that I forget that these good times are the result of fervent prayers and faith that all would be well.

This year, I want to continue my commitment to living a life that is stronger, more confident, and and fulfilling. Both for myself and my family as a whole. Here's to another great year!